I’ve often struggled with the concept of selflessness and humility.  I long for such virtues, and yet they don’t manifest themselves naturally.  I work at it, but work is tiresome.  Why doesn’t this come naturally, why Lord does it not naturally occur in a child of God?  Surely my inheritance permits such grace!  It would seem not.  Struggling with the effort involved had formerly led to discouragement about a lack of consistancy. Sure I can pull it off for a while, but self creeps in when the work becomes to long, and I’m back where I started.

Then I realized something, a simple concession that had to be made.  It will ALWAYS be a struggle.  Woah, wait a second.  Always?

Yep.

I had to wake up and realize, “hey, self doesn’t want to dissapear, and will do everything not to!”  My natural self pursues itself, not others.  My natural self pursues my own desires, not God’s.  Realizing that it would always be work, and never be as fun as just giving in to myself has helped immensely.  I dont’ walk under some false pretense that it will suddenly become effortless.  It won’t!  That’s the essence of walking in the spirit not the flesh.  God may grant his grace on me and ease the battle at times, but other times I’m going to have to fight.  An act of will.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” - Eph 6:12

This past week someone very close to me was the victim of the devastating power of sin.  In a moment, he was victimized.  Helpless.  Taken advantage of.  Violated.  Devasted.  Satan, in his efforts to distort, decieve, and corrupt mankind in sinful lusts and passions used such depravity to hurt someone I love.  To destroy a relationship.  To destroy a life growing towards Christ.  To bring shame and embarassment and torment to another.

I found it physically, emotionally, and spiritually crushing to witness the power of sin to devastate and corrupt God’s people.

I am angry at the devil.  But I do not believe that he succeeded.  I believe he thought he did.  My goal since this tragic event is to stand up in the face of every temptation I am faced with, and stand stronger than ever against his schemes.  I want to sweat day and night to defeat him.  I want to show him that he knows nothing in the sovereign plan of God, and that this tragic result of sin will in turn be used to bring more to Christ, to bring holiness to believers, and strength to many.

I want Satan to reflect on his influence in this situation and not be proud of the corruption but instead horrified at how what he started with sin is perfected and used by God to build people that could not have been built otherwise.  I want to stick it to him.  I want to horrify him with the work that he is in turn doing for the Lord.
Although I cannot go into the complete details of what happened, I ask if you would to take an conscious stand with me, mindful of this situation.  Refute his attacks with the power of God.  What a wondrous and amazing God we have that can take a horrible earthly situation and use it to build his Kingdom.  I want this one event to spur many.  I want Satan to look at this whole situation and realize he was working for God. I am not angry at the person who committed this sin against my friend.  I am angry at sin itself.  I know God is too.  And I want this sutation to spur as many as possible to strong devotion. Please stand with me.

So it’s been quite some time since my last entry.  I’d have to say that it is due to me prioritizing things strangely over the past couple of months.  School came to a close, work caught fire, wedding plans flew to the forefront, and well - I just haven’t made time.

I have however, been blessed with several emails over the course of the break, from people across the US and overseas with kind words to say about the blog and the entries.  Thank you!  That is always an encouragement, and it makes me marvel at the sovereignty of our King when I see that he can use a small thing like this to impact lives even a little!

The past couple weeks have been filled with reflections on the concept of “working” for God.  Often times it becomes easy, I think especially when we settle for “routine” Christianity, to develop a “works” lifestyle.  We can begin to associate our Christianity with accomplishing goals, such as church attendance, frequency of devotions, prayer schedules, ministry work, etc.  While this is clearly not what should define our Christianity (though are natural results of a devoted heart), I have since been convicted of the dangers of such a mindset.

When we begin to “complete” works in an effort to “do works” for God, we have a tendency to associate our own power in our faith.  We can begin to give credit to ourselves, glory to ourselves in what we accomplish.  We take these “works” and our nature begins to tempt us to compare ourselves with others.  We view others through prideful eyes and claim superiority in our faith by our works.  A works mindset leads to pride, and leads to self-glorification, not God-glorification.

We need to keep afresh upon our minds the truth that the entire purpose of our salvation is the glorification of Jesus Christ.  To Him belongs ALL the glory, not some, not most, but ALL.  We are all equally unworthy, all equally depraved.  When you really sit and think about it, how comical it can seem to compare the petty Christian “works” in an effort to define “holiness.”  This has never been the standard of God.  We are called to glorify God with our lives, our bodies - not “out-work” each other in a contest to be the best…tainted man.  We are all in need of a savior, and to him belongs all the Glory.

This is not a commentary in an effort to escape work for the Kingdom, but rather a refresher for our minds.  Let us focus on the fact our actions should be a product of our faith, our salvation in Christ.  Not what defines us as Christians.  That remains what it has always been.  Christ.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesian Benediction

I find it extremely trying to battle the societal standards of entitlement, which fly directly in the face of my Christian walk.  The world speaks of absolute ownership, a “right” or “claim” to one’s time and actions, opinions and standards.  I struggle mightily to shift my perspective consistantly to that of scripture, to forget myself, to leave my self seeking attitude, and yet my humanity and culture shouts so loud against such efforts!

What makes it all the more trying, is that within the prayers towards these efforts, I know that God shall work to sanctify me, and that only comes through facing these trials and circumstances.  I have been put in more and more situations in which I am tempted to let my society override my calling.  To let my surroundings override my devotion to this holy discipline.  How it should be our ceaseless prayer to lose ourselves in the servant-hood mentality!
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” - Romans 12:1

It’s almost Christmas!  December through February is arguably my favorite time of year.  The air is crisp and people seem a tad friendlier (unless you’re shopping) and you get to see family and friends.

Thinking about the holidays had me thinking about today’s modern view of Christmas, and how it’s celebrated.  Christmas is supposed to honor the day of the birth of Christ, to celebrate the incarnation.  But we know for most Christ’s birth is not more than a footnote, if that.  Christmas has become the birthday party Christians prepare for in excitement, only to be completely contented in the guest of honor failing to show up.  How many of us would throw a celebration in honor of someone, and yet be completely happy and have a good time when the celebration takes place absent of the one it was prepared for?  That’d be crazy!  Yet Christmas has become that to many…
Fun has taken place of the Son!  When I have a family of my own, I hope to deeply encourage the true spirit of Christmas with traditions that bring the focus back around to who it should be!  Maybe a birthday cake each year that the kid’s can see who the day is for, and a traditional family reading of the Christmas story.

I marvel also at how Satan has manufactured so many things to completely distract society from any recognition of Christmas as a day to honor our King.  He has Santa Claus’ and the Easter Bunny ready to progressively alter the focus more and more each year.  His best weapons are those that seem to “bland out” everything that should have more importance.

There is one thing that I know today with complete certainty.

I will look back upon myself in a couple of years, and think that I knew so little now.

I know this because I thought I understood so much a couple of years ago, and I can look back and laugh.  Out loud.
This is the walk.  Progressive illumination by the Holy spirit as we progress in our pursuit.  We can hinder ourselves so much by thinking we know it all.  Thinking even that we’re “supposed” to.  Such arrogence will blind our minds, harden our hearts, and sacrifice opportunities for Christ.  I know.  It’s happened to me before, and it’ll likely happen again.
God let’s us know, by the revelation of His Word, and the work of the Holy Spirit, exactly what we need and are supposed to know and understand.  Christians aren’t always at the same point in their walk.  God may reveal something to you in perfect clarity what to me is difficult at this time.  Such convictions should never lead to “spiritual puffing up” type of attitude, for it can only hinder, never help.

A good question I must ask myself - does “knowing the answer” always benefit the cause.  Sometimes it does not.  We can be so eager to display our personal conviction or insight, that we hinder the greater cause.  We are then, saying disputable matters are “more” important than God’s word.  It is often a simple battle of priority.  So much of the Christian walk is.

In my limited experience, a critical spirit is one of the MOST damaging sinful behaviors that Satan uses today to rip us to shreads.  We must always be on guard, for it sneaks into our midst like a bug only to build a nest that takes time and effort to remove.

As a kid, you might have related discipline with “punishment” - but the discipline I’m talking about is more of a “training” than a “consequence”.

Either way…it often isn’t fun…but is never-the-less necessary

I was encouraged by this passage in Hebrews 12, that we somewhat unraveled in Chapel today:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ² Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

⁶ because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”^a

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! ¹⁰ Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^b so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

a Prov. 3:11,12

b Prov. 4:26

The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 . Zondervan: Grand Rapids

I whine about being disciplined sometimes…because I’m weak, or impatient…or stupid.  But I always rejoice in the results…how both are possible, I don’t know.  But I know i’m learning to find discipline a thing to be desired, not dreaded…

Is there a such thing as disgruntled obedience?

Is there a such thing as bad-tempered duty?

What about petulant submission?

I would stand to reason, and in turn hope you would stand with me in agreement that all of the above are impossibilities, at least in the context in which I speak.

For I am speaking not speaking simply of human and social duty and obedience, but rather of that which God requires of his people.  I am talking about the obedience of the children of God, the saints of Christ, the elect.  Despite the seperation that exists between a human obedience and a heavenly obedience, I would say there are clearly human examples of the obedience our Holy Father requires.

For example, growing up as children in our own households there were many years of duty and obedience required by your parents, grandparents, etc.  Sometimes yes, this duty, this obedience was that of a disgruntled, angry child.  There were many days in which I was forced to make my bed despite the wretched scowl upon my face, many a nights going to bed at my all-too-early bedtime with contempt.

Examples like the above were not of reverent obedience, or respectful obedience, but rather obedience in the face of consequence.  I knew that there would be dishes to be washed if my bed was not made, or I would not be allowed to play with friends if I didn’t go to bed.  In the face of consequence, I would submit.  If there were no consequences - i would not submit.  This is NOT the obedience in which our Holy Father requires of us!  We are to be obedient in reverence, in submission not because of what would be done TO US as consequence, but what has been done FOR US, and because of WHO HE IS!

This means our attitude accompanies our obedience!  They are not seperated but rather all inclusive in the Holy definition of obedience.  We saw examples of this as children as well - learning to forgive at a young age not only with our mouth but with our meaning and our attitude.  Forgiveness of the mouth is worth nothing if not meant and expressed with our attitude.  This is evident to whom we speak to, just as it is evident in our obedience to Christ!

Some possible places in which we (and I myself) have been found guilty of such a lacking obedience:

• Gifts to the Lord with a disgruntled or selfish heart
• Actions of apparent charity and kindness to friends with a prideful spirit
• Daily prayer and/or devotions empty of heart or meaning

These are examples of actions in which obedience is often defined simply in the ACTION and not always in the ATTITUDE.  In the MOTIVE.  What good is my prayer to God when I hide impatience, or other priorities and angers in my heart?  Is that the obedience he wants from me?  What good are my finances given in contempt or out of an angry heart?  I would stand to believe they are worth nothing in the realm of Holy obedience!

Let me close by looking at a few key scriptures applicable to this post, especially regarding the above-mentioned areas of struggle:

In regards to our tithe / gifts to the Lord’s work, 2nd Corinthians 9 says:

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion” - and goes on to say “…for God loves a cheerful giver”

To be obedient in terms of our finances, this scripture teaches us that such obedience encompasses not so much the action itself but almost entirely focuses on the attitude.  Earlier in the book, in chapter 8,

“For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.”

Once again emphasizing the importance of the willingness of the heart and attitude, not the importance of the quantity of the gift or action itself.  A gift without the willingness to give and a cheerful spirit is therefore NOT acceptable.  Regardless of how much you give or how often you give.  It is not the obedience our King speaks of.

Finally - what encompases obedience to Christ.  It is motivated by love!

“For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ this way, we do so no longer.” - 2 Cor 5:14-16

May we strive to be obedient to our King not simply in action, or in fear of consequence, as we did as young Children with our parents wishes, but instead live our our faith with obedience driven by love; that which encompasses both heart, soul, and mind.

I have witnessed, it seems in more clarity as of late, the connection between priority and anxiety in my life. That which I give great priority, too much priority, seems to directly translate into anxiety and overwhelms the mind.

What I mean, is there are things in this world, whether it be fancy cars, diamond jewelry, nice furniture, expensive things, finances, (namely anything in which we know is temporary and yet this world determines proves one a success) - and these things each of us places somewhere in our list of priorities. By priorities I do not simply mean those of our datebook, those of our time - though those are great indicators of where are priorities are. But what I also mean are priorities of the mind. What we spend our time thinking about, meditating about, focusing and thinking on, etc.

One can tell themselves (and I often have) that by openly professing one’s priorities that they are truly in order. I find lately that my words do not match the truth. My mind will be consumed in maintaining material things, and in turn they become the priority of my mental time, not simply my schedule. The more mental efforts I give to these things, the easier I am disrupted. The easier it is, in turn, to throw my life into craziness - as these things are impacted, so am I.

Yet scripture, Jesus Christ himself, said “…don’t be anxious for your life…” - we are not to allow these worldly temporary things to overwhelm both our mind and time. So why is that so difficult? What is the balance? What we do know, is that we cannot add “…one moment…” to our lives by being anxious about such worthless and temporary concerns. I see such anxiety as a direct lack of faith - for our God is good, and has provided for the birds in sky - how much more does he love us!

I hope to be able to keep that perspective when I find myself up in arms over that which is not worth being anxious over. Keeping his kingdom, and namely scriptures such as this (Matt 6:25-34) in mind during such struggles will aid in efforts to keep both my time and mental priorities in the right order.

“At once they left their nets and followed him.” (Matt 4:20)

So I’ve come to the realization that having a conviction is far far more simple than following through. Anyone can be convicted - in fact, I’d stand to reason that we all are, all the time! But following through? That seems to be a more difficult task…

I read the words written in the Book of Matthew - as Jesus the son of God calls upon Simon Peter and Andrew - to follow him. And they did. At once!

Oh to be so bold! Those nets were their livelyhood! Those nets were there security! How many nets do I have? How willing am I to drop them at the call of the LORD? This is a process of self examination one must do daily. I find myself in a somewhat cyclic conviction process:

• Conviction
• Reaction
• Rationalization
• Dismissal

Certainly not always - but often! How I overanalyze what the LORD calls me to forfeit for his cause, sacrifice for the gain of his kingdom. How unwilling I am to cast away the nets that bring me security, wordly peace, and worldy comfort. May we be as willing as Simon Peter and Andrew to drop and cast away those things that grant such an empty peace - may we be willing to say AT ONCE LORD!