Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - CS Lewis

I have been telling Bri that I was going to post a blog about friendship for a few weeks, but finally got around to doing it.  For some reason friendship has been at the forefront of my mind of late, really the past year or so.  As I’ve grown up and grown older, the dynamics of my friendships have changed.  Marriage, jobs, impending parenthood, etc can do that.  Ultimately the adjustment comes as priorities are altered with our “growing up” or evolution as individuals.  

Lewis once wrote “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one,” and ultimately he is right.  Friendships are built most often around common passions, common interests, and common goals.  He likens the different between friends and lovers with their differing postures.  Lovers facing each other, eyes are on each others, while friends are side by side and focused on some common goal.  

It’s hard to preserve friendships as priorities change, despite how much all parties involve would love to, despite how much they wish things could stay the same forever or revert to some time when both parties prioritized things the same and the friendship was as strong as ever.  I’ve struggled with these difficulties as my own life has changed over the years.  It’s hard to adjust, to make everyone happy.  

Yet there needs to remain the Christian perspective that we must remember even though the “everyday” situations and perspectives change with marriages, moving, jobs, etc.  As believers in Christ, God has always had a purpose for our fellowship and our brotherhood that is beyond a mere friendship or common bond.  Christians are united through Jesus Christ.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer gives some perspective on our Christian brotherhood and fellowship that I found insightful, here is an excerpt from Life Together:  

“…God has put (the) Word into the mouth of others in order that it may be communicated to us.  When one person is struck by the Word, he speaks it to others.  God has willed that we should seek and find his living Word in the witness of a brother, in the mouth of a man.  Therefore, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him.  He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged….He needs his brother as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation.  He needs his brother solely because of Jesus Christ.  The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure.

And that also clarifieds the goal of all Christian community: they meet one another as bringers of the message of salvation.  As such, God permits them to meet together and gives them community.  Their fellowship is founded solely upon Jesus Christ…the community of Christians springs solely from the Biblical and Reformation message of the justification of man through grace alone; this alone is the basis of the longing of Christians for one another.”

It is through God’s mercy that we’ve learned to be merciful to each other, God’s forgiveness that we learn to forgive, God’s kindness that teaches us how to be kind, his faithfulness that guides us in our efforts to be faithful to our friends and brothers.  

Friendships change and evolve, people get new priorities or move away, but the bond of fellowship found within Jesus Christ is not reliant upon the needs of a common friendship.  

Some verses on friendship/fellowship:  1 Thess 4:9, Romans 15:7, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, John 15:12-15, Prov 17:17, Rom 12:15, Philippians 2:3