I am suddenly awake, a thousand impulses reach me in a fanciful flurry.  I realize all at once that I am at at a loss.  I am physically broken and spiritually shaken.  I lie in wonder.

I am like a man who has suffered a head trauma.  Suddenly I begin remembering not only what has occured in the past few days or weeks, but also who I am, have become, will become, should become, am becoming or maybe was becoming?  The questions swirly like a shifting wind and all the while I still marvel at how they are in my head.  I am suddenly awake, yet at a loss.

Where have I been the past few weeks?  My King has sent his most trusted search party to scour the highlands and find me, wounded and defeated, somewhere in the distant plains.  It appears I have attempted a journey that my own two feet have failed to sustain me on.   What a pity, I think.  It seemed as though I could have made it at the time, but at the time I had made such a decision I must have been in a silly mood.  The distance looks far to broad and wide now that I am suddenly awake.  These feet are far to battered and these legs can barely stand even in the cool of the day.

What a silly man I have become, am becoming…was becoming?

I pray the latter of the three holds true.