I quest to speak loudly words that bring change.  Convey that which moves even the hardest of souls.  Long to swiftly free a man from burden and delight in his new birth.  I set out to satisfy the thirsting heart with wisdom from places deep and quenching.  To say aloud that which so inherantly needs to be said.  The chasm before me is one of intimidation and judgement.  The gap between saying and doing is monumental to the unworthy and a small jump for the truly loving.  I most often find it monumental.  It is never such a small jump.

My longings are nothing but self satisfying passions.  Only my conscience finds rest within them.  A longing unfilled is a place to wallow ever longing.  I please myself by the fact that I have them and produce a harvest fit for one.  My fruit is sour for it has been on the vine too long.

Never picked and never eaten, always bitter never sweetened, lost in stealing from the vine the truth that others would surely find.

If I opened my mouth.  Others might eat.  How can they believe if they never hear.  How can they hear if I never speak.